This is called “analysis paralysis” and it often affects Questioners. I sent one of my clients the visual representation of the “Four Tendencies,” and she immediately e-mailed me back a two-sentence e-mail: “Obliger! An Upholder readily meets both inner and outer expectations. You can count on them to do the research. Aug 26, 2017 - Explore Gretchen Rubin's board "The Four Tendencies", followed by 20148 people on Pinterest. Because you dislike being questioned or having to justify your choices, you can come across as closed-minded and may have trouble delegating. The Four Tendencies categorizes people with regards to how they respond to EXPECTATIONS, that’s it. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. © 2013 Kate Whimster, Toronto Naturopath. In a nutshell, to persuade someone to follow a certain course, remember: • Upholders want to know what should be done. The key takeaway from The Four Tendencies is that no Tendency is better or worse than the others.Rather, the holy grail is to (1) understand your own Tendency and (2) create conditions whereby you can excel within that framework.For instance, as a Questioner, I can benefit from signing over certain aspects of my life to trusted experts. Let's take a closer look at each of the tendencies below. Our response to expectations determines our “Tendency”—that is, whether we fit into the category of Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. Managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people reduce conflict and make significant, lasting change. Questioners question all expectations. They typically meet work deadlines or keep New Year's resolutions without any fuss. The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin aims to pinpoint our response to expectations, both from the outside world and to ourselves. This short, free Quiz poses questions meant to identify your Tendency. If you ask a person how they feel about new year's resolutions, these are the typical responses from the 4 tendencies: * Upholder - Will make and keep new year's resolutions. This is especially true with health information because it seems like it comes at you from all angles! Gretchen Rubin is a New York Times Bestselling author and her newest book, The Four Tendencies, offers incredibly practical insight into your own personality and those you love. ( Take the quiz here to find out if you're an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or a Rebel.) But, I own both of Gretchen Rubin’s previous books, Better Than Before , and, of course, The Happiness Project , so I was totally on board to dive in. Rubin’s months-long research and rumination led her to discover that every person fit into one of four Tendencies: the Obliger, the Rebel, the Questioner, and the Upholder. Example: I explain my assessment, the underlying cause(s), and recommended treatment including short- and long-term expectations during your visit. Brad and Gretchen both fall into this category. Copyright © 2021 Gretchen Rubin. Midtown Toronto: Book online or call 416-792-4400, North York: Book online or call 416-497-2273. Obligers readily respond to external expectations, but not internal expectations. If you need a quick overview of the Four Tendencies: In a nutshell, it distinguishes how people tend to respond to expectations: outer expectations(a deadline, a “request” from a sweetheart) andinner expectations(write a novel in your free time, keep a New Year’s resolution). Understanding how you respond to expectations is the foundation of my Four Tendencies framework. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.” OBLIGER: “I do what I have to do. Questioner Tendency (from The Four Tendencies) Posted by Allen Cheng | Jul 1, 2019 This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "The Four Tendencies" by Gretchen Rubin. Your answer determines where you fall in the “Four Tendencies”: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. Let’s Connect. To learn more, check out Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast episode all about Questioners. If there are no external expectations, Obligers almost always fail to complete the task, no matter how important it is to them. that justify them, nothing is arbitrary. You are probably thorough, detail-oriented, and driven. In a nutshell, under this scheme, people fall into one of four categories: Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, or Obliger, depending on how they respond to external rules and internal rules. QUESTIONER: “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. Rubin believes that understanding these tendencies, and knowing which you most closely fit, will help you make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress and burn-out, and engage more effectively … In just about any role we play—as manager, health-care professional, team member, teacher, coach, spouse, parent, or colleague, to name a few—it’s helpful to know our own and other people’s Tendencies. Therefore, following any information or recommendations provided on this website are at your own risk. November 16, 2017 by Iain. quiz. According to Gretchen Rubin, people fall under one of four behavioral tendencies. Questioners are drawn to creating systems that are efficient and effective. The Four Tendencies: Questioner By Dr. Kate Whimster, ND on February 5, 2020 in Success This article focuses on the Questioner tendency and is the third in a series of articles all about the Four Tendencies and how you can harness this self-knowledge to achieve your goals. What follows is a summary guide to the Four Tendencies. (Gretchen is an Upholder, Elizabeth is an Obliger). Links: [Book] The Four Tendencies [Quiz] Take Gretchen’s Four Tendencies Quiz [Twitter] Follow Gretchen on Twitter for updates Notes: We sincerely apologize for the poor audio quality of this episode. You are talented at creating systems that work well but also willing to “think outside the box” when it leads to better outcomes. If you haven’t read the first article yet, check out The Four Tendencies article now. Questioners “question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified.” Questioners love to learn and need hard evidence or to “see it” to believe it. Questioners. Melissa and Gretchen discuss the Four Tendencies (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel), how each tendency relates to inner and outer expectations, and how knowing your tendency can help you be more effective in changing any habit. Favorite quote from the author: Ive known Im an Upholder for two years now, and its made all the difference. Rubin believes that people fall into four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Rebels, and Obligers.In her view, tendencies shape every aspect of our personalities and our activities. They meet deadlines and follow through for bosses, colleagues, spouses, and so on — but don’t follow through on things they want to do for themselves. As we grow up, this changes fast. 3. When were babies, no one expects us to do anything. Gretchen Rubin is an author, speaker, blogger and podcaster; her most recent book is The Four Tendencies. There was a mistake in the recording process during this episode, and we will try our best to improve the quality in future episodes. Upholder-Obliger. Obliger-Upholder. You likely do not have a problem with TOO LITTLE information – you probably have too much information but don’t know WHICH information is right for you. More than 3 million people have taken it. Knowing our Tendency can help us set up situations in the ways that make it more likely that we’ll achieve our aims. I love the Four Tendencies because I am curious about people, behaviour, and how different tendencies operate in different situations. I’ve just read The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. Example: I create a treatment plan that provides instructions and handouts for everything (no note-taking necessary!). Have you ever been told you ask too many questions? Can I be multiple Tendencies at one? Obligers have to learn how to create outside accountability that works for the… You can find it hard to meet the expectations of others without good reasons and may struggle to stop analyzing and move forward with action. You need CLARITY! Questioner-Upholder. Rebel-Obliger. GretchenRubin.com, Terms, Conditions of Use & Privacy Policy. If you're new here, I suggest you check out my first post in this series before reading this one. By continuing to use this website you acknowledge that I cannot guarantee any particular results, as such outcomes are based on factors that are not within my control. This article focuses on the Questioner tendency and is the third in a series of articles all about the Four Tendencies and how you can harness this self-knowledge to achieve your goals. To learn more about the Four Tendencies, check out my book, The Four Tendencies. • Rebels want freedom to do something their own way. If you’re a patient of mine, email me your tendency! She started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer. When we can see other people’s perspectives, we understand why, from their point of view, their actions make sense. The four tendencies answers the question, “How do people respond to inner expectations, like a new year’s resolution, and to outer expectations, like a work deadline.” What I like about this model is that it’s simple, mutually exclusive, and actionable. I don’t want to let others down, but I may let myself down.” REBEL: “I do what I want, in my own way. Breaking Down The Four Tendencies. For those of us who homeschool our kids, many of whom are not clones of ourselves, this insight into why our kids do what they do is brilliant. Do you feel overwhelmed by mountains of information and unable to decide what is right for you? Questioner-Rebel. It’s hard to grasp just how differently we can all see the world. Obliger-Rebel. And stay tuned for my next article all about Upholders. Check out Gretchen Rubin’s podcast episode all about the Four Tendencies. If you enjoyed this article and would like to stay connected, sign up for my email list here. This sounds like a dull question, but it’s actually enormously illuminating and helpful. The first part of the book describes how that insight came about and offers an overview of what she calls the four tendencies. • Questioners want justifications. About the Four Tendencies In just about any role we play—as manager, health-care professional, team member, teacher, coach, spouse, parent, or colleague, to name a few—it’s helpful to know our own and other people’s Tendencies. Then, the bulk of the book is devoted to the four sections, one for each of the four tendencies. Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. It’s hard to grasp just how differently we can all see the world. By asking the one simple question, “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain exciting insight into ourselves. The disadvantage here is that you can get so caught up in your own analysis that you may close yourself off to valuable information. Recently, I’ve seen some interesting scenarios unfold with different tendencies in business, and that has prompted to write a series of articles – starting with Questioners in Business. Four Tendencies. As a Questioner, distilling all that information into a clear plan unlocks your natural ability to follow through on your expectations for yourself. Other Articles About The Four Tendencies Unlock Your Tendency: An Overview of The Four Tendencies What You Need to Know About the Questioner Tendency T he Inside Scoop on the Rebel Tendency The Fundamentals of the Upholder Tendency . Questioner The Tendencies are referred to as such because they describe the way people tend to respond to expectations placed on them by others – or by themselves. All Rights Reserved. The Four Tendencies framework is a simple and elegant way to categorize how we respond to both internal and external expectations. Given the volume of information available in the modern world, Questioners can find it challenging to focus on the right information, make a decision, and follow through. Once you take action, you will reap the results. See more ideas about happiness project, gretchen rubin, this or that questions. My statements are expressions of opinion only and I cannot guarantee outcomes. People fit squarely into one of the four tendencies. We all face two kinds of expectations—outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating). If a questioner has the task of hiring a new person for the department, without limitations he or she may interview 30 people and take months to decide due to the numerous questions each candidate could create. • Obligers need accountability. Gretchen Rubin designed the “Four Tendencies” framework to help people better understand why they’re likely to act—or not to act—when trying to achieve goals or complete tasks. According to Gretchen Rubin’s research, Questioner is the second most common tendency at 24% of the population. Dr. Kate Whimster, Toronto & North York ND, podcast episode all about the Four Tendencies. A narrow aspect of our whole person, but very mighty because this influences how we accomplish our goals. One of the daily challenges of life is: “How do I get people—including myself—to do what I want?” The Four Tendencies framework makes this task much easier by revealing whether a person is an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. And when we know how other people respond to expectations, we understand them far more effectively, as well. If you try to make me do something—even if I try to make myself At work, at home, and in life, we all confront both outer and inner expectations. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. If you’ve been feeling stuck in your relationships, career, health, or self-confidence, understanding your Tendency and how to make it work for you is … On her top-ranking podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. I make no guarantees about the information provided herein. It takes about ten minutes to complete; answers are confidential. Nutshell Guide TO GRETCHEN RUBIN’S THE FOUR TENDENCIES * Questioner - Think Jan. 1 is an arbitrary … We can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet our promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others. Gretchen Rubin (she/her) is a best-selling author, speaker, podcaster, and creator of the Four Tendencies framework. All rights reserved, Terms, Conditions of Use & Privacy Policy She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide. Ready to learn about your own tendency to improve your behavior and relationships? A personality framework that divides all of humanity into four types. Lets get right to it! Just as important, knowing other people’s Tendencies helps us to work with them more effectively. book club: gretchen rubin’s the four tendencies I actually hadn’t even heard of The Four Tendencies when it was selected as our book for this past month. Discipline is my freedom. “The Four Tendencies will immediately improve every area of your life—and I say this from personal experience. Disclaimer: This website is an educational resource only and is not a substitute for working with a health care practitioner. 100%.” This fit my impression of her, because she had had great difficulty in losing weight in her 30’s, and nothing had ever worked for … However, it still contains useful information. The Four Tendencies in More Depth: Questioner This week I have been writing about Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies , which she writes about in the wonderful book Better Than Before . Rebels want freedom to do something their own way. Questioner’s decisions about meeting an expectation are backed by reasoning, logic, and data (facts, figures, statistics, etc.) Our parents celebrate it when we eat, clap when we poop and let out a huge sigh of relief when we finally fall asleep. I’ve listened to her podcast before and she’s recently been on Rich Roll’s podcast to promote this book. Example: I recommend tools to track habits like diet or meditation which provide the opportunity for you to gather data about yourself. Receive FREE instant access to my Essential Guide to Natural Beauty, plus exclusive emails and articles to help you live well. Each section has a chapter on … Gretchen Rubin has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work written up in a medical journal, and been an answer on the game show Jeopardy! If you want to get into more detail, then technically, people fit into one of 8 primary-secondary combinations: Upholder-Questioner. I like to keep note of this in your chart because it helps me to help you improve your health! Upholders want to know what should be done. Upholder. If you haven’t done so already, take the quiz here to learn your tendency. Questioner: “I’ll comply – if you convince me why.” Obliger: “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.” Rebel: “You can’t make me, and neither can I.” After one episode of the Happier podcast referenced the Four Tendencies quiz, I took it, and…mind blown. No. It starts with clean your room, soon turns to you need to contribute to the household and … The Four Tendencies – Upholder, Questioner, Obliger or Rebel?
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